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On a voyage across the ocean an Irishman died and was about to be buried at sea. His friend Mike was the chief mourner at the burial service, at the conclusion of which those in charge wrapped the body in canvas preparatory to dropping it overboard. It is customary to place heavy shot with a body to insure its immediate sinking, but in this instance, nothing else being available, a large lump of coal was…
"Look here, now, Harold," said a father to his little son, who was naughty, "if you don't say your prayers you won't go to Heaven." "I don't want to go to Heaven," sobbed the boy; "I want to go with you and mother."
FATHER (impressively)—"Suppose I should be taken away suddenly, what would become of you, my boy?" IRREVERENT SON—"I'd stay here. The question is, What would become of you?"
FUTURE LIFE A certain young man's friends thought he was dead, but he was only in a state of coma. When, in ample time to avoid being buried, he showed signs of life, he was asked how it seemed to be dead. "Dead?" he exclaimed. "I wasn't dead. I knew all that was going on. And I knew I wasn't dead, too, because my feet were cold and I was hungry." "But how did that fact make you think you were still alive?" asked…
FURNITURE GUEST—"That's a beautiful rug. May I ask how much it cost you?" HOST—"Five hundred dollars. A hundred and fifty for it and the rest for furniture to match." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы 👇 Дарите звёзды
FUNERALS There was an old man in a hearse, Who murmured, "This might have been worse; Of course the expense Is simply immense, But it doesn't come out of my purse."
They say, and I am glad they say, It is so; and it may be so; It may be just the other way, I cannot tell, but this I know— From quiet homes and first beginnings Out to the undiscovered ends There's nothing worth the wear of winning Save laughter and the love of friends. — Hilaire Belloc .